THE HARDEST PRACTICE, TO BE THIS FOOLISH

Apprenticeship to Love: The crooked path of marriage (May 24, 2026)

TODAY'S MEDITATION


It was always this way, to know that I am called to risk the illusion of certainty.

An oracle speaking, singing something I had to know.

And, clear in my purpose, to step off the illusion of this ground of certainty, into the heavenly embrace of Her beautiful unknown.

...

I have, since my grandparents gave me the Struwwelpeter books as a young child, been fascinated by this foolish figure: Hans-guck-in-die-Luft (Hans-with-his-head-in-the-clouds), the fool. He who is led —by his heart? the strange guidance of his oracle? certainly not his head!— to step into the unknown. This Hans, always accompanied, fittingly, by his dogs. His furry angels, in their way another of the oracles guiding him to be beyond himself.

...

Hans-guck-in-die-Luft. A reminder that it is clarity over certainty that guides me. Clarity of vision. Trusting the enigma of my oracles.

The only certainty in this life of stepping into the unknown is that I will experience vulnerability. Acute tenderness. The constant testing of my trust in Her flow, Her benevolence, Her generosity... A gift.

...

I am not a warrior. That trope is compelling. In part because it is the embodiment of certainty.

But I do not trust that certainty, certainly do not trust those who dress themselves up as "warriors" to protect themselves from the mystery and magic of their hearts' tender need to open to feel it all. No.

I am not a warrior. I am a man learning to see how I delude myself with illusions of control and certainty. Illusions that one teacher calls the fascism of the body, subjecting its mysteries to the totalitarianism of the mind, its will to banish uncertainty.

I am not a warrior but a man learning to be a fool, with all of my heart.

...

I find this hard work: To be so fully foolish as to know Her magic, to be susceptible to the keys to myself that I find in her songs for me. It requires daily and devoted practice.

And so, I practice. Daily. With devotion. To be this fool. This Hans-guck-in-die-Luft. Always this foolishness. Always and forever tested to know Her magic, the treasures my beloved reveals to he who trusts his foolishness.

TODAY'S INSPIRATIONS

🌀For the masculine: Stop hoping for a completion in anything in life. (David Deida)

🌀If real change happens, it will have to be filled with keys but no clues. Amid such real change, you’ll not recognize yourself in the disarranged mixture. (Guru Singh)

🌀The Conscious Warrior practices the cultivation of wonder and awe. (John Wineland)

🌀Thank you for letting me be me. (My beloved, my oracle)