SHE WOULD 65 TODAY. INSTEAD, SILENCE
The world is a whirl of vibrations. I don't always hear the music of it.
Apprenticeship to Love: The crooked path of sacred marriage (July 7, 2026)
TODAY'S QUESTION
What is the music of the world that is playing, just for me? Where in my body do I feel these vibrations?
TODAY'S MEDITATION
The world, this life, is always speaking to me. My oracles are many, always singing to me. Am I listening?
What I know: I rarely hear them. My excuse? I am too busy with "important work."
What I am beginning to understand: this "important work" is so often a form of self-protection, a way to defend myself in the face of the overwhelming and inscrutable songs the world, this life, my oracles are singing.
...
Silence. Even after what I've learned in these recent years, certain silences are hard to bear. (It may be why I write: to sidestep these silences, to fill my mind with the noise of my thoughts.)
Nevertheless, understanding grows. The learning to listen, and even the writing of these recent years, has made me a little more sensitive to the oracles and their songs. I'm more understanding of these silences. I'm a little more compassionate with my resistance to the silences, and the songs.
Something else that I'm learning: so much of what I resist is exactly what I am needing. Knowing this doesn't always make it easier; I still fidget, struggle to sit still with the discomfort of listening.
Eventually, however, with the help of my breath, I am slowing down. Slowing, I'm a little better able to hear what these silences are offering me.
...
The only meaningful response to both the silence and the music of the world, is to be what I'm learning.
To be.
Not to talk about it. Just to be the man I am. A man, it turns out, that I am just now learning how to love to be.
What a gift: to discover that this man that I am, he is a man worthy of my compassion, and my love.
...
The world is a whirl of vibrations. I don't always hear the music of it. It feels like noise.
Too often I've added to this noise. I've pushed it back with my own insistence, my own story, my own ideas and words, a self-congratulatory mental-vomit.
Pushing out. Against. Not allowing myself to receive it. Not knowing that I can be nourished by it.
...
Today I am listening, closely.
I am thinking about my younger sister. She would be 65 today.
Lost at sea when I was ten, when it was too much for me to hold.
In my younger days, I would not let her absence speak to me. Now? Now I am better at listening to the silences, the absences of those I love. Now I let myself hear what is beyond words, beyond thoughts, far beyond me.
It is only in my limited imagination that am I alone.
I feel my heart ache in this 57-year silence. The one ache, the ache for love.
Today, I am different. Not so young and in-need, but a little wiser about receiving the nourishment. Instead of expecting those who are silent to show me the desired flower of love, I allow myself to feel it flowering within me. This beauty is stirred by subtle vibrations that are always with me.
The world, this life, is alive with these songs. Even in the seeming silence. It's not a noise, but a music. Soft sounds. A soothing, and a holding of the beautiful ache of being alive.
TODAY’S INSPIRATIONS
🌀Sharing the fruits…
Instead of talking about consciousness, embody consciousness.
Instead of talking about devotion, embody devotion.
Instead of talking about love, embody love. (Justin Patrick Pierce)
🌀…The masculine is all about depth. He always leads me deeper into my feminine essence and pleasure. He provides his presence, clarity and always leads me into realms I can't reach on my own. Thank you for always caring for my health and wellbeing. (Katrine Kleppe)
🌀The sound that enters the body through the ears has an effect on our whole body, our nervous system responds to auditory stimulation, specifically the Vagus Nerve. This is the nerve that switches on our parasympathetic nervous system, our ‘rest & digest’ mode, so we become more calm and relaxed, which is very beneficial for our kidneys & adrenals to recover from stress. (Kundalini Yoga School)
🌀I’m always impressed by you. (My beloved, my oracle)
