SHE IS A FOLLOWING WIND
When I feel her there seems nothing I cannot do.
Apprenticeship to Love: The crooked path of marriage (April 29, 2026)
TODAY'S MEDITATION
Becoming still, slow, I feel this wind.
But to be so slow…. I find it hard. It’s a stretch I avoid, the pain is so deep.
…
When I feel her there seems nothing I cannot do.
And so, just this: to feel her.
...
Before this: to prepare to feel —not just she whose radiance nourishes me, whose silence calls me, but the powerful force of nature that flows through everything. This is a feminine flow. So I must soften and become vulnerable, to feel and to receive and all of her (yes, that one now) many moods and storms and, of course, the silences…
I breathe.
I slow myself.
And —standing, breathing, slowed— I align myself.
Aligned and slowed —slowed beyond stillness (again: I find this hard, painful even)— I am filled with yearning. I begin to open, to know the beauty of love that is now all around me. As it ever was… as it always is (but, of course, and that is why I am here: because I am too often numb to feeling all of this. Too numb, or too loud. Or, too busy. Or, simply, too much in my way to know all the love and life that is here for me, at my feet.)
...
She is the following wind.
Aligned, true to myself, slowed to the stillness that admits knowing, now I am moved by this wind. Moved, there is only everything to experience, to enjoy.
She is the following wind. She bears following.
…
It’s been a week. Captured by my body and its demands.
WTF does that mean?
This: I have been sick. I’ve said that.
And unhappy. I’ve said that too.
I’ve been resisting, again, the need to slow down. But this time, a little more willing to listen to the wisdom of this body, I find myself both studying the yoga of my guts (because it is my guts are that afflicting me now with the demand to slow the f*ck down) and reading (again) Olivia Laing’s beautiful paean to “every body.” Mine included.
As for re-reading Laing, I’d decided to revisit for no other reason than that I knew that in my first, and fast, reading so many things were undiscovered. Every Body is chock-a-block full. Dense with things that stir me. There is a thread that runs through it all (Wilhelm Reich), but so many other thinigs woven through. Now, a slower reading.
Because it’s only when I am slowed, aligned, still, in fact, that I begin to feel the following wind that teaches me how to lead this life I am given.
And so —yes, back to this refrain— and so, I practice. Practice that I may receive the gift of waking to guidance that gives me what I need to lead the one I love into whatever beauty this moment brings.
TODAY’S INSPIRATIONS
🌀 …all I’m trying to do all the time is just open people up so they can feel themselves and let themselves be open to somebody else. That is all. That’s it. (Nina Simone)
🌀Your task is to break this spell —to calm the waves— to have psycho-emotional clarity and live beyond the mysteries, attractions, addictions, and distractions. It’s to live as the person you are —wherever you are— and this takes daily discipline. (Guru Singh)
🌀The Conscious Warrior is committed to developing strength of the mind, physical body, and nervous system through dedicated physical, yogic, and meditative practice. (John Wineland)
🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my oracle and my siren)
