I AM ALIVE

Apprenticeship to Love: The crooked path of sacred marriage (July 31, 2026)

TODAY'S QUESTION

Will you sit, still and silent, for five minutes? Will you open your breath —your heart— to take it all in, to receive it all, for five minutes? And if not, what stops you from receiving this moment?

TODAY’S MEDITATION

Love persists. Life persists. I don't need to "earn" these. It is all here for me. Not for the "taking." Here for the experience, the enjoyment, and the sharing.

...

I've written recently, and several times, that I am happy.

How does this happen?

It wasn't that long ago that I wondered, Will I ever feel happy again?

As best as I can figure it, the change is due to several things. The most important is walking this path of what I call my "sacred masculine." What is that? Owning my regret and not shunting it off with some superficial "I did my best." Committing to myself to what feels true in my life. What some might say is my calling. And through this walking, a thread that pulls it all together, pulls me and all of my diverse and often scattered experiences together, the learning to feel it all. Especially the learning to feel the sharp reminders to be grateful that I am alive and that I am here to love, and that nothing is to be taken for granted. That is, to feel my heartbreak as a gift.

...

Brene Brown —and here I'm paraphrasing— suggests that when faced with our vulnerability, the tenderness and fragility of love and life, we respond in two ways. Most of us habitually "prepare for the worst." Involuntarily, we imagine the worst.

Far fewer of us, she says, sit with this sharp reminder of what loss feels like, and feel grateful. The reminder of loss becomes not a moment of preparing for grief, but a moment of joy.

...

To "prepare for the worst" is an ancient response in our body-mind. It is the response of our most faithful and powerful trope, the warrior. Whether we are man or woman or otherwise we anticipate loss, and we prepare. We batten down the hatches. We sharpen the swords. We close ourselves to this moment, anticipating that it will only go bad.

How much harder is it to sit with the tenderness that this vulnerability invites —and to extend the invitation, become even more vulnerable, more open to the unknown?

I think of this as the work of the husbandman. That part of ourselves, man or woman or otherwise, that is willing to hold space on the bet that the unknown is treasure beyond imagining. Every moment on the edge of the unknown, "quality time," as my oracle might say.

...

Every moment of birth is also a moment of death. Things —life, love, the weather, my body— change. I am reminded: Be grateful. Take nothing for granted. Receive the quality of this moment.

...

I am learning how hard it is, to take nothing for granted, and to know that everything is here to nourish me.

How can I live this edge, where the old habits of the warrior (to defend, to fight or flee) are still so strong, and these new habits of the husbandman that I am trying to cultivate are still just taking root?

How? I listen to my beloved. Even in this rich solitude, this rich silence, she speaks to me. My Oracle, the doula to this unknown being birthed.

And I breathe. I am learning to enjoy every tender, oh-so-tender moment.

I am often frightened. But I am undeniably aware of this: I am alive!

TODAY’S INSPIRATIONS

🌀Maybe your soulmate is your higher self and the perfect partner is just someone who doesn't get in the way of that.. (unknown)

🌀In 1952 the German physicist Professor William Schumann at the University of Munich measured [the Earth’s] resonance ...and found [these electromagnetic waves] have a frequency of 7.83 Hz. The Earth vibrates and makes the sound of this frequency, which is the gateway rate of the brain's dreamtime state and deep meditation. It’s called the "theta-state," and when you train your brain to operate at this frequency, you perceive far more information in every moment .… (Guru Singh and Guruperkarma Kaur)

🌀The Conscious Warrior makes death an ally, using it to sharpen his present actions, future plans, and current state of being. (John Wineland)

🌀I’m always impressed by you. (My beloved, she who must be listened to, my oracle)