WHAT GIFT DO I OFFER TO HER MYSTERY?
With my breath, my posture, and with dedicated and daily meditations I practice to be worthy of this work.
Apprenticeship to Love: The crooked path of marriage (June 2, 2026)
TODAY'S QUESTION
What is it that you don't understand in the one you love —your wife, your husband, friend, child, parent? How will you let the not-understanding be, to resolve or blossom itself, in its own time, its own way, without forcing?
TODAY’S MEDITATION
What does my beloved need today? Only my awareness, my powerful presence holding her safe as she unravels all that binds her. I am, in this moment of undivided attention, her true husbandman.
...
She needs to feel safe.
In the absence of another's stability to hold her, she has retreated to a brittle shell of safety. Distant. Silent. Small. Always on the edge of flight, freezing.
To crack this shell....
It's not just the will to break free I want for her; I want to her experience, fully, the wonder and beauty of being seen, heard, held safe. I want her to feel loved.
...
There is no safety. Even as I want this for her, for myself, for the ones I love, safety is passing. It is only experienced as the moment-to-moment of being held in awareness, in undivided attention.
As a man, my gift to my beloved, and to all the ways the divinely feminine shows Herself in my life, is my attention. This gift is grounded in my capacity and my nature to be the stable awareness that holds her. Safe, in this moment. Held, here and now, in my awareness.
Here, held, she may slowly, in her own time, unravel the protective fabric that keeps her mysteries dark, silent, even frightening to me. I am, in this moment-to-moment of my attention, her safety. Something she yearns for, but will not ask for. I have to know this need, without the asking, for it to be understood between us.
This is no small thing. More and more, as I slow down and become accustomed to the strangeness of this world, how the flow of it only makes sense as the river makes sense, I know it as sacred work. Masculine work. To sustain and hold moments of attention, for her.
With my breath, my posture, and with dedicated and daily meditations I practice to be worthy of this work. It yields not only the safety of my beloved, but also the fruits of her flowering. And always, my own feminine desire, to know and taste the fruits.
What does she bring me now? And now? And now, in the never-ending flow of her unravelling, unfolding? Attending, I begin to know, and enjoy.
...
She is million miles away. Silent. Yet also here with me in this moment of my attention, nourishing me with her mystery, bringing me everything and tenderly, in her way, in her time. The reasoning of it is unreasonable. Only my own stillness knows.
TODAY’S INSPIRATIONS
🌀There can never be growth without trying something new -- there cannot be growth without mistakes. … Evolution has been deeply studied; it attempts tens of thousands of different efforts before it finds one that causes growth, survival, progress and prosperity. Scientists studying this phenomenon of evolution have marvelled at the absolute forgiveness within nature...this is the forgiveness that allows the failures to learn rather than experience guilt in failure...guilt shuts down curiosity... curiosity is essential to growth. (Guru Singh)
🌀How can you link being honest towards yourself with developing a genuine sense of trust? (Kundalini Yoga School)
🌀I never thought I'd be coming to you like this. (My beloved, my oracle and siren)
