Apprenticeship to Love: Meditations on this Path to Authentic Relationship, October 22, 2023

• Today’s questions: What are you expecting from this moment? From this day? From this conversation? What happens when, knowing your expectations, you put them aside and allow the moment or the person to give you what is meant for you?
• Today's suggested practice: Day 22 of this month's practice, to notice & receive while in motion (see my "Short Practice,” below)
• My practice today: 4:30am: 75 minutes: yoga, mantra, and Meditation to Increase Subtle Awareness.
• My vulnerability practice: It's quiet. Again. So I listen, and wonder what this silence will speak to me...
★ Wednesday, November 15 I'll be hosting "Men & Dating," as the Apprenticeship to Love live virtual workshop. My guest will be men's coach Leroy Gordon. Free to all Apprenticeship to Love Premium and Premium+ subscribers. Register at


There is an anniversary here, in these days. A remebrance and a celebration of liberation from something I did not know I had tied myself with.

The more still I become, the more easily I receive the gifts She brings to me.

It wasn't always this way.

It has —and remains— a struggle with myself, with my wanting. With my expectations. And so, every breath begins with this mantra: sin expectativas. Without expectations.

That is, when I remember. (I am quite forgetful. Expectations continue to stand in the way of me receiving the gifts that are here for me.)
Happy anniversary to my beloved. Eight years ago you walked into my life. We talked. We danced. You were “reckless” and opened your heart to me. You invited me to become the man I love. I can’t imagine how I would be living without your intercession. I am forever grateful.

But your offer did not come without a cost —to yourself.

I am sorry that you suffered, that your inspired and divine intervention into my life wasn’t met with understanding or compassion. I was, as you’ve said, “an idiot.”

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you for being the woman you are, the “angel of my awakening.”
I love you. And, I am forever grateful for your "recklessness" and your sacrifice. What I do, in these days and years and moments, is to become worthy of your trust and your radiance.

Thank you for showing me how to be the man I am, leading with your open heart.

Thank you for showing me that I need to, always, be without expectations. Sin expectativas. Siempre, sin expectativas.

Always, without expectations.

Always opening to receive.


🌀 Your senses imitate your mind. When your mind becomes very still and peaceful this is what the senses will imitate too. They are like a mirror. When they are turned outward, they reflect the world of objects, transferring messages to the mind that trigger the mind in all kinds of ways. When turned inward the senses can start to reflect your inner light. (Kundalini Yoga School, Going Within sadhana, Day 7)

🌀 When the senses withdraw themselves from the objects and imitate, as it were, the nature of the mind, this is Pratyahara. (Yoga Sutra 2.54)

🌀Only the one who descends into the underworld rescues the beloved. (Soren Kierkegaard)

🌀 Our “work” is to receive. The rest is preparation. (Leroy Gordon)

🌀I am always impressed by you. (My beloved, my Oracle & Siren)

Day 22 of this month's practice, to move and to notice, and to receive:

Please read through first, then ...

  • Today, set two alarms, one for the early part of your day, one for mid-late afternoon when you may be feeling low energy.
  • When the alarm sounds, wherever and however you are, take three, five, 11, or 30 minutes to do this short practice:
  • When you’re done, sit or stand for another minute or two, breathing gently, slowly filling and emptying your belly. Here, as you breathe into your fullness, ask yourself, What am I expecting from this moment? From this day? From this conversation? What happens when, knowing my expectations, I put them aside and allow the moment or the person to give me what is meant for me?
  • Notice if your body-mind feels somehow changed. And whether you notice a change or not, be content with yourself, exactly as you are in this moment.
  • Continue with your day until the next alarm sounds, and repeat.
  • If you want to talk about your experience, or your resistance, or about anything that, as one reader has put it, "lands while reading these chapters," please set up a 45- or 90-minute session at coaching. If you're an Apprenticeship to Love subscriber, please use the EARLYREADER code for a 25% discount.