I WANT MORE
Patience. Slowing down. Allowing the art of this moment to arrive... in its own time, its own way. There is no hurrying this art.
Apprenticeship to Love: April 3, 2026
TODAY'S MEDITATION
Yes. I want more. More love. More joy. More beauty. More of her gifts. More of her silence. More of her radiance.
...
I often think about tango as I reflect on this apprenticeship to love. It's one of the most interesting places for me to practice this yoga of polarities.
It is so important for me to practice.
A few years ago I was teaching tango and hosting experimental milongas (tango's social dances). Then I began to participate in and learn about the yoga of sexual polarities. So much to learn. One, that I want more — more of what the feminine polarity brings into my life. More deliciousness. Another thing to learn: that if I want the deliciousness of beauty, flow, love then I am saying "yes" to more testing.
Yes. More feminine testing. I want to experience more of the chaotic and the unexpected and the flowering. A good place to find this is dancing tango.
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Yesterday, only my second milonga in several years. I danced almost every tanda (the three-four song sets we dance in a milonga) in the three hours.
I knew almost no one. So many "islands to be explored," as Melissa Bloxham has referred to the women we, as men, might get to know. Indeed.
Tango is an exceptional way to explore: How we interpret the music, each other's energies, the flow of other dancers with us on the floor... The opportunities to explore and to learn and to deepen myself are limited only by my willingness to be tested.
...
I am not confident in social settings. Every one of these, especially where I don't know many or any, is an anxious event. Perhaps these tango social dances, milongas, are especially so.
If we've danced tango for a while we know that there is art to be found, created here somewhere amongst the tandas, amongst the unknown dancers in the room. But there are few clues. I watch. But my eyes are not always trustworthy. How she moves with one man is only a hint at how she will move with me. How confident I feel with one follow is no guarantee that I will feel as confident and inspired as with another.
The women are all beautiful to my eye. But there is a deeper beauty. A mystery of beauty deep within, waiting to be known by a lead's subtle guidance. I will only find a follow's beauty and art —the beauty and art I desire— by exploring beyond what I see. I have to commit to going far beyond my comfort zone.
When I do this, and I don't always have the confidence to step across the threshold into the unknown, I am always surprised. How this experience of beauty appears... it as mysterious as what this art is that we create together. There is only the sense that here, in this moment, there is a necessary tension, pressure, friction of lead/follow that sparks magic.
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What I know is this: in my tango, as in my life, I am beginning to know this magic starts with my breath. I slow down. Feeling into the heart of the follow I am feeling the heart of the divine in my arms.
Patience. Slowing down. Allowing the art of this moment to arrive... in its own time, its own way. There is no hurrying this art.
And when beauty arrives... magic.
TODAY'S INSPIRATIONS
🌀Frustration arrives to demonstrate the need for a change at the core level. Once this demonstration performs, you must release frustration to enjoy the rest of the process...otherwise, all change will be frustrating. (Guru Singh)
🌀 ... "strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.
The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading." (David Deida)
🌀 ....The more conscious we all are of "testing" the easier it gets to rise to the occasion with playful, erotic depth. If you're annoyed or overwhelmed by it, it's possibly time to recalibrate to your true nature. If you are unsure how to do that, step one: go into nature. Practice regulating your nervous system... (Melissa Bloxham)
🌀The Conscious Warrior honours and protects the feminine, both in himself, in women and children, and in the world. (John Wineland, Precept 8)
🌀You're not like that now. (My beloved, my oracle)
