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THAT FELT SO GOOD

Daily Meditation & Practice for the Sacred Masculine, April 9

Rev. Hans Peter Meyer

• 5 min read
THAT FELT SO GOOD

—Hans Peter Meyer

MY MEDITATION

She tells me I am always surprised. But why am I surprised? It seems long ago, but not so long ago, that I understood that everything that matters to me comes from Her, unbidden. Unexpected.

None of my planning or scheming, none of my thinking about what I want really matters. What matters, like the Easter eggs I used to find as a child: I knew they were there, somewhere waiting for me; I didn't know what form they'd take (eggs, of course! and chocolate bunnies, but the shapes and flavours?), but I knew that with patience and practice on my part they would reveal themselves.

And so I practice. With practice, tuning myself, aligning myself, I come to know that She offers me an unending flow of nourishment. What form it takes? What the timing of their appearance, my awareness of them? I can feel Her moving. But the due date?

This week: Gifts of vulnerability and trust. So much trust. The tears beginning in my heart and moving up through my throat before reaching my eyes as I consider the tenderness revealed. Almost too much to bear, that she feels so much trust, is ready to reveal so much tenderness...

And yes, it feels good to be in this man's skin today. Not always. Not when I struggled to be a man I wasn't. Not as struggled with the necessary regret at not being the man I am.

So grateful for these regrets, this pain that moved me to practice, to change. To become aligned with the man I am, the man she trusts me to be, the man I needed to abandon that I might discover myself.

Hours of practice. Changing my body through hours and weeks and months and years of practice.

I am the same, and yet transformed. Aligned and tuned and prepared to receive. Still, the richness of her gifts, almost too powerful —that is my fear, and so I breathe and know myself strong enough, stable enough, deep enough to be comfortable in this skin, in this moment, receiving so much.

TODAY'S INSPIRATIONS

🌀Do I feel good in my skin? (Tim and Marieke, Kundalini Yoga School, Green Detox sadhana, Day 6)

🌀It's not time that it takes. It's alignment. (unknown)

🌀Change your body to change your mind. (John Wineland)

🌀...know that you won't ever fit in with most of what's around you; have the courage to be unique and outstanding -- the person of your destiny...quite odd, extremely sensitive, and unusually compassionate...the master that you are. (Guru Singh and Guruperkarma Kaur, Peace with Your Strength)

🌀I'm anyways impressed by you. (My beloved, my Oracle)

TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE

Ten (or 20 or 60 or ...) minutes to feel good in your own skin...

Please read through first, then ...

  • Find a private space and lay down, or sit. The important thing is that you can relax and not be disturbed by others...
  • Set a timer for 10 minutes (or 20 or more, if you have the time and inclination)...
  • Close your eyes. Let your breathing slow as you inhale through your nose and into your softening, rounding belly. Exhale by gently drawing your navel in to your spine. Breathe even slower and deeper, but without effort.
  • Feel yourself held by earth's gravity. This is Her energy of "holding you." You are safe in this gravitational embrace. You aren't lifting off into space. You have air to breathe, water to drink, plant forms to grow and delight you. Feel held as your feet and ankles, calves and knees, your thighs and buttocks, your lower back all sink into Her embrace. Feel the weight of your middle back, the back of your heart, your heart itself being held. Feel its weight. Feel your shoulders and your neck, your head, all of you held in a relaxed heaviness. Breathe gently and deeply into this "being held."
  • Bring your left hands onto your belly, your right hand onto your heart. Feel your breath gently moving your hands up, and down.
  • With slow and deliberate movement bring your right hand, your "masculine" hand, up to your right cheek and begin to gently stroke the skin of your face. Feel this beautiful cheek. Feel these beautiful lips, chin, your nose. Feel your eyes and your eyebrows. Your brow. Bring your left hand, your "feminine" hand, to join your right in this oh-so-subtle caressing of the skin of your face. Enjoy the feel of your hair, your ears, the back of your skull.
  • In your own time, but slower perhaps than you want, move allow your hands to move from caressing your face to feeling under your chin, your throat, the back of your neck, as much as you can reach of your shoulders, and now the front of the top of your chest, your clavicle, feel that hollow between your collar bones. Let your fingers linger here, then draw them up onto your throat.
  • Wherever your skin is bare, allow your hands and fingers to touch this skin: your wrists and forearms, your hands each other. Slowly. Gently. You are the lover your skin desires. Give this beautiful skin all the attention it wants, feel its want, its yearning deepening as you slow your movement. Be still, pause in your movement. Feel the warmth, or the cool. Feel the sensitivities and the not-so-sensitivities. If your shirt is off or untucked, let your hands feel your belly, it's softness as it expands and contracts with breath. Feel the skin under the waistband of your pants. Notice how it feels different from the skin just above the waistband. Just notice, and caress.
  • Continue to gently and lovingly and patiently attend to your skin until the timer signals. If you like, continue to explore and attend. If you are complete at 10 minutes, bring your hands to your belly and breathe into them. In yogic practices we spend a lot of time focusing on the seven major chakras (energy centres) of the spine, from root to crown. But our hands are also powerful energy centres and in this practice you are allowing their energies to awaken the sensitivities of your skin. Now, as you complete the practice, bring your hands together and feel their power. Feel their capacity to be strong, to be gentle, to notice, to shape. Bring your finger tips to your lips and bless them with a gentle kiss.
  • Open your eyes and, before you stand up, notice your skin again. This sense organ is always protecting and receiving, always. Take a moment and allow yourself to feel gratitude at having this wonderful tool to help you know life and its gifts.