One of the most beautiful things I can do for myself and everyone around me is to retrain my nervous system. As a masculine-identified man I'm trained in the defensive/offensive “warrior” mode. There are good reasons for this. Today, there are better reasons to learn something new.
I used to think this was a 50/50 thing. I used to think that we were equally responsible for this trusting at the crossing. I believed that it was up to this thing called "us," whether the crossing was made or not. This belief was a fundamental failing my relationships. I know differently now.
I used to think I needed someone to love me, for that feeling to be real. Now, I know better.
My father wasn’t an easy father for me to be a son to. I know I'm not unique, as a son. I think many (all?) of our fathers want things for us and from us. Sometimes that casts a shadow. Sometimes it's an inspiration.